Highway 40 West Stories- Chapter seven to nine..

 Ancient people can teach us how to live. 

                      Highway 40 west stories. Part seven.  Conversation with new friends.

The Westerner country was getting full now. We return to our table. A older couple was sitting at the table. The man asked. Is it alright if we join you? We don’t like the bar. We like being near the dance floor. Me and wife like to be able to dance at will and we are good company.  I told them. No problem. We could use another opinion and conversation tonight. I’m Johnnie and this is Lana.  The old man with the big smile said. My name is Jack and this is Cathy, my beautiful wife. He reached out his hand and gave me a good country handshake. His wife gave me the same. He shook Lana hand and asked. What are you two northerners doing in Salt Lake city. You look like a two people very content and happy. I like that. Hard to find someone who can make you laugh and cry in the same second. My dear wife is the champ.

Cathy told us. Take a lot of whiskey to make this man beautiful. He ain’t so bad for a man who survived me for almost 30 years. He can’t hear good and is forgetful. Allowed our marriage to be alright. I like the suntan and haircut Soldier. When I met Jack. He had your haircut like yours and a bad attitude. He came home from Vietnam with a bullet in his back and was a powerful asshole. V.A took the bullet out but he kept the bad attitude.  Jack kissed his wife and said. The woman saved me often. I had a gun to my head and she gave me reasons to live. Don’t let her fool you. She is sweeter than sweet Maine honey. She was a maid at the cheap motel and walked in when I had a gun to my head. She slapped me silly and I fell in love instantly.

I took her hand and told her. Old soldiers need woman like you. It is a honor to meet you both. Me and Lana are going to Reno. I’m station at Fort Ord, California. Just left the war and Lana is going to see her sister.  Cathy asked. Are you getting marry? I see no rings. Reno is a good town. Me and Jack got marry in 1967 in Reno. 50 dollars and a 500 mile road trip. Love come rarely. Few people fall together needing the same things rarely.

Jack said. Enough personal talk. Playing some Willie Nelson right now. Time for us dancers to dance. Too much talk killed the good night. I have forgot the war and today I’m thankful to be alive. All I got to say is. We must live for the people who can’t. Tonight time to drink and dance. Cathy can be the best woman tomorrow at the wedding. Let’s get dancing.

Me and Lana are doing the Texas two-step. She whispered to me. I’m having fun. Jack and Cathy are good people. What Jack said was right. We must overcome the bad things and live for the people who can’t. My father wouldn’t want me to be sad. He would tell me. Shape-up and be strong. I’m lucky. I found my Johnnie and we are going to Reno on Highway 80. It is time to have some fun. I gave her a kiss and twirl her in a circles, bringing her near and told her. We are going to be alright.”

Jack asked me where did I serve? I told him. I’m prior service. I rejoined to go to war. I was board with life. I joined to go to war. He smiled and said. I knew men like you. You joined the war to escape. Men who wanted to die. Never were killed. Bullets goes into young soldiers who want to live. The irony of war. Crazy folks don’t get killed. That is why I’m still alive. I’m glad you made it son. Us Veterans must live to tell the tale of bad times and good men. He saw in my eyes. I had little to live for. Lana had given me reason and purpose for now. I asked him. How did you know I was on a suicide mission? I reached a dead-end. Sometime options are limited. War give men reasons and purpose. Jack told me. Enough talk about the bad days. A wise man leave the trash behind him. Tonight we have beautiful ladies and tomorrow is a new day. You can’t live for dead people and bad deeds and actions. We must live for the dance and drink.

We stayed with Jack and Cathy till closing time. We made a play-date for tomorrow. We would see the Mormon Tabernacle and the Family History library. We stopped at the 7-ll. Lana bought some cheap candles and a bottle of sweet fruity wine. We got to the hotel. Lana said she needed a bath and to wash her hair. She hated the cigarette smoke in her skin and hair. She left the bathroom door open. I watched her till I couldn’t no-more. I went to the tub. I sat on the floor and looked at her young and beautiful body, than I poured warm  water on her hair. I gently washed her hair. She told me. No-one had treated me like you do. Thank you Johnnie.

Chapter eight.  Highway 40 west stories.  Finding some kind of peace.

I ran more hot water in the large hotel bathtub. I go to back to washing her long auburn hair. She relaxed in the water watching the dancing bubbles.  She turned to me and asked. Is love real. Do we have reason and purpose for being alive. My father worked for 40 years and he died overnight. He never prepared me for his death. What do I support to feel?   I took a deep breathe and told her. When I was in Kuwait. After my sister told me my grandfather had died. I needed time to grasp. I’m still. Death isn’t for us to understand. I lost two brothers to suicide. It pissed me off so bad. I disappeared for three years. It wasn’t a good thing. I wrote poetry and story. I went back to school. I closed all doors. Not good to play dead when you are alive.

Lana eyes were filled with soft tears and questioned me. Johnnie, you won’t let me play dead. Are you? Will you leave me in Reno and forget me as soon as you get back on Highway 40? I don’t want to be a burden. Maybe you have a girlfriend, responsibility and a good life? Maybe I’m dead weight to you?   I poured warm water on her hair. Moving my hands through her hair to ensure no soap is left. I caressed her shoulders and told her. You are not dead weight to me, honey. With you I have reasons and purpose to be alive. I will hang around you as long as you need me. Today you are mourning. You need to mourn and you need to.  I have no-one anywhere. I joined for the war. I wanted a suicide of a sort. I volunteered for every dangerous mission. Death didn’t want me yet. Maybe you are right. It was my destiny to find you on Highway 80. The last few days have been my best in many moons. I hope I won’t let you down. We have a lot of decisions to make. We have time. Tomorrow I will take you to the Salt Lake city Family History library and the Mormon Tabernacle. We will take some pictures, buy a few books and have some fun.

I got one of my Desert Storm shirts and gave her the shirt to her as she dried herself off. She put the shirt on and asked me. Do you think I’m beautiful? I see in your eyes. You like to watch me bathe and get dressed. I want you to want me. I need to be wanted.  I took her hand and took her to the bed. She laid on the bed with a sweet smile. I covered her with the blanket. I took my clothing off. I joined her on the bed and caressed her face.  I told her.  If we have sex. Everything will change. Sex don’t heal the heart and don’t make things better. In a few weeks if you still need Johnnie around. I will hold you and never release you from my life.

Lana smiled a sad smile and told me. Johnnie you are a brave man. Maybe a saint? I agree to your terms. If you promise to take me to Monterey. If even for a few days.  I whispered to her. We will drink Irish Coffee and roam the beaches. I will write a million words for you. I will take you to Monterey. Maybe we can find some sort of peace?

Lana fell to sleep quickly. She held me tightly like a stuff teddy bear protecting her from demons.  I caressed her forehead when she shook with bad dreams and memories. I wondered what would I do with her. She was educated and have great possibilities. I was no-one. I was searching for death and I found someone who needed me more than dying. I guess I will roll with the flow. Poor Lana is young and strong. I learn a long time ago. Woman decide what they need and want. Men just believe they are in control. I will hope for a good landing. I close my eyes and I tried to find sleep.

 People see what they want. They don’t want to see the truth. 

                                    Highway 40 west stories part nine.   The real truth.

I got up early and I found directions to the Family History library and the Mormon Tabernacle. I ordered some coffee in the hotel restaurant. I was joined by a older lady and her son. She gave me her hand and told me. Thank you for your service. I’m proud of our soldiers. I told her thank you and I tried to escape. She asked. “Please stay and talk to us. My son want to join the service. I need a real Soldier opinion. His daddy is dead and I know of few men who have served. I sat down and I knew this wouldn’t be a positive conversation. I asked the boy’s name. He reached out and he told me. My name is Todd. I’m in eleventh grade and want to be a soldier like you.

I told Todd. It is good to meet you and what do you want to know?  Todd smiled and asked me. Does it feel good to be a Soldier? Did you see combat? Did you like the Middle East? I saw in the mother eyes. A sadness. I knew without asking. This was her only son and he needed her signature. I sipped my coffee. I tried not to reflex back to the war. Some memories are better left dead and bury.  I told him. Wars had no season. Wars will end and more wars will come. I like being a Soldier because my father was a soldier. Today soldiers are used for the wrong reasons. We fight for wars that don’t concern us.  I looked directly into Todd’s eyes and asked him. Is it right to kill for oil and profit of the rich men? If the USA isn’t being attacked? Should we kill other armies and destroy cities? Do you want to know their blood on your hands for the wrong reasons?

Todd sat in silence. I told him. I saw war. At least the aftermath. Took my unit six months to clean-up death valley. The United States Air Force destroyed the Iraqi army in 20 minute or less. They left the bodies of their soldiers and equipment and ran back to their country. My unit found alive men waiting for death. I learn men who are dying. They want to pray and they tried to remember their family. There is no honor in war. Us men learn to hide the memories if we are lucky. I saw war like my father and I learn his sadness. Dead friends lay heavy on my mind and thoughts. My mothers reached over and she hugged me. She saw hidden tears for good friends who never came home to see their family.  She asked me. Should we leave you. I’m sorry to make you remember things you are trying to forget.

Todd asked. Is the life of a Soldier a bad life? I want to travel and see the world. My only option is the service or saving up money.  I asked Todd. Are you going to college?  He told me. I have a full scholastic and I do well in school. I don’t want to kill anyone. I want to help.  I looked into his eyes and I told him. Military purpose is to fight and kill. If you want no blood on your hands. Save your money. Travel, have fun and test life without ransoming  your mind and soul. I won’t allow my children to go to war. I know I can’t stop them. Eighteen mean you can join at will..  Please think first. I know no-one who learn to live better by knowing war. War teaches us. Love and family is the real goal of a life. A lot of walls with names on them and United States flags waving at lonely graveyards for men who didn’t return home to their families. I pray their deaths had reasons and purpose..

Lana appeared with a strange smile. Listening to the conversation from a distance. She walked up and she gave me a hug. She asked. Is it time for the world largest library?  The mother and son stood-up and the mother gave me a hug and she whispered. Thank you for the truth. Most men forget the bad parts and leave the good stories for their kids. Thank you again.  Todd took my hand and he told me. I appreciate the honest words. I don’t want to kill anyone. I will go to college and maybe one day. Study the option of the military. Thank you sir.

Lana saw the sadness in my eyes. She said. I’ glad you told the truth. War is no good. The government use up and kill the young before they can live. You are a good man Johnnie.  I kissed Lana and told her. Like Jack London said a long time ago. Men are just meat. Waiting to be cooked or eaten.

Johnnie/Coyote…