What is right, what is wrong? Dear Jennifer. Part six.
What is wrong, what is wrong? Dear Jennifer… Part six…
“Making love…
Did we make love, did we seek the place of mercy?
Did I love you enough? Were we running to each other or running away from each other?
Do kisses demand payment?
Were we brave? Or were just ghosts of lovers?”
The time went quickly and every night for 27 nights. I held Jennifer throughout the nights and I was thankful for the kindness she gave me. I never talks of love and she did not either. I believe I pleased her. I didn’t want to steal everything from her. I was leaving on New Year Eve for California. I gave myself 10 days to get to Monterey. Detroit to Monterey, 2500 miles. I bought her and Tiffany nice gifts. A new Television for the house and Tiffany, anything she wanted.
The days and nights went too quickly. We made promises of her to visit me in Monterey. Our last night was wonderful. Jennifer parent watched Tiffany and we drank sweet wine. We held each other and we went dancing. On the 31 of December I left her house in my Dodge truck. It was a long good bye and I prayed I could see her gain. I saw joy and sadness in her eyes. Jennifer had a lived a hard life. It a life. Few times, do we know the mercy of kindness.
I arrived in California safely and I called dear Jennifer, twice a week. I bought her a plane ticket and she came to visit me in April 1992 in Monterey. She came alone and she was carrying a heavy burden. I showed her Big Sur, Monterey and San Francisco. We went to the pier nightly, we drank the Irish coffee. We took a old fashion photo. I was Doc Holiday and she was Texas love. After the four days of more silence than talking. She told me near the Monterey Bay. Johnnie, Johnnie. You have your California, your Army and you love the soldier life. I would be a burden. Maybe you and I. Are seeking different things. I have Tiffany and school. Love need reminders. I told her. Please come to Monterey. Be my love forever dear Jennifer. I will take care of you.
She whispered. Thank you Johnnie for being so damn kind to me and Tiffany. You changed my life. I am happy again and I know. I can do anything because of you. In 1987, you taught me I was smart and strong. Now I owe you again. You saved me from my pity. Please Johnnie, don’t be sad.
I drove her to the San Francisco airport. It was a silent drive and I held her hand. At the airport, she told me. Don’t forget me Johnnie. Please don’t be sad. You were my blessing and I hope you appreciate me? We kissed and I held her as long as I could. I watched her walk away and I knew. This would be the last time I could see my dear Jennifer.
I went to my car. Many tears fell for a dream lost forever. I wrote in my journal.
“I dreaded the ending at the beginning, I knew love is a like a butterfly. So beautiful to behold, so beautiful to see dance in the wind. You know. Sometimes love is your savior and sometimes love is your killer. A goodbye is still a goodbye. A wish is still a wish. A heartache is still a heartache. Thank you dear Jennifer for teaching me. I still can bleed.”
Coyote
Really nice.
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In case you’re confused by the collective comments against you, you tagged up our DJ Steven’s posts and we want you to know that you make the women in our particular circle feel objectified. We are not service women or hookers for your aged gratification. The men in our writing circle actually care about what we think, what our names are, who we are as human beings and not just how well we give head. Stay away from Steven’s blog. It’s our house party and you’re not invited. You have plenty of bots to tag your sorry ass without bugging our crew. You create factions by your sheer lack of knowledge regarding the opposite sex. I feel sorry for your grand kids.
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I have great respect for women. I have six sisters, three daughters. I served with strong women in the military. I teach my grandchildren to respect women. We can be many things is a life. I am not sure the point you are making. I write about women with respect. I believe anyone. Man or woman can do anything they desire to do. I apology if I offended you. I write about life. The good and the bad. I knew both.
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Your writing shows a lack of respect for women. PERIOD. End of discussion. You won’t offend me if you stay away from me and mine. Steven’s blog is not a good place for you to tag. Thank you.
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You are wrong and when we write. We tell the truth. Steven’s blog is okay. In my lifetime. My six sisters, three daughters and countless women. I have known. Are strong. I taught my daughters to be strong. All of them. Smart, strong and motivated ladies. I won’t pay attention you your site and you don’t need to read something that offend you. I read everything. A open mind can learn. I still have dear Jennifer beautiful letters and photos with her. She was a blessing, a gift. For a moment in time. She felt safe with me and I with her. And you are welcome.
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Yeah, I have an open mind pal. I don’t need another sexist man who thinks he’s what makes daughters strong telling me what’s what. Steven’s blog is more than okay. He can actually write. You? Not so much. My dad is a writer, his dad was a writer, I get it ok? I understand the male perspective of fucking women up and down the coast. I will stay away from your blog and you will be made aware of how you make people actually feel instead of pandering to your EGO. I don’t care about how you fucked Jennifer. I’m sure your wife doesn’t need these stupid bullshit memories of yours either. And you too are welcome for the insights. Ya old CREEP.
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Maybe you don’t have a open mind. Name calling. That is creepy. We like what we like. I am patience with all people. I read to learn and I hope I find something worthwhile. Sake of knowledge. More to life than fucking. We must be kind to each other. Wife, once had a life beside me. She is still friend with her ex-husband. Life is gathering experience. Thank you for your kind words.
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You are the one who only writes about fucking and drinking you old creepy bozo. I don’t have any need to be patient or kind to you. I don’t need to consider the feelings of sexist men. I don’t WANT to. You are entirely self absorbed. Stay away from Steven’s blog or I’ll come back and keep kicking you in your virtual reality balls. YES life is about gathering experience. I read Hemingway and Salinger in high school. YOU should be WAY past those books by now. I don’t have have kind words for you so don’t thank me. I am not being obstinate and I have an open mind when I say to you, I don’t have to tolerate you. I don’t have to like you. I don’t have to consider your feelings. I CHOOSE not to. Write whatever you want just stay away from me. And if you tag my friends, I’ll be back to bitch slap you. I don’t care if you understand why. I hate your writing.
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You are scary. Not really. I read to enjoy, not change people. You need not to take reading so personal. We decide what we read, we decide what we write. If you don’t like something. Don’t read it, don’t do it. I enjoy the good writers. I still read Jack London and Hemingway. There are lessons in their words. Have a great day and leave the anger behind you. These are just words. Not good to waste time on foolish things. Don’t like something. Just don’t read.
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agreed.
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I read this film review this morning. I haven’t seen the movie but the article is so well written a person almost doesn’t need to… I will try to see the movie at some point. I’m not sure why, but I wanted to offer you the link to it as my peace offering.
https://orionmagazine.org/article/syndromes-and-a-century-film-movie-review/
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How to make a woman throw up in her mouth When You want to kiss her
He describes himself as an old soldier and a grandfather but he writes his fantasies as a young drunk man surrounded by naked women who say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and all their boobs are different which makes their flesh smell like a brand new car, but he explains how his fantasy still takes place in the cab of an old truck. All women are the same, he describes and himself as filth in a tavern where there’s groping dark corners and whiskey and the best a Coyote can do is warn off the pretty girls he longs to fuck, he tells them it’s always making love, names aren’t important, it’s the marks her lipstick leaves, the gifts of all their bodies, He loves… and she said yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… even tho he’s cruddy, She meets him at the ocean after he has been drunk driving, somewhere in Texas, where there’s a motel and sheets and probably her smile, she pushes his sleepy head, it’s okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… you silly forgiven man, you Earnest Hemingway wanna be you… with all your cats purring in your imagination and more steady than any real woman’s pussy… He might pet or grab.
GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!!!!!!
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Dear Jennifer was a kind woman. We tried three times and I adored her mind. She wanted to do great things. She was the wild one. I was 8 years older and she was beginning to come alive and test life. I was just a working dog who was lucky. A kind woman gave me attention. If you don’t know. Women like sex too. All of us falter and we rise again. I wasn’t the lucky one with her. She was still seeking dreams and education. I do like Hemingway. The men like Salinger and Hemingway are few. They saw the world wars and wrote about them. I believe women make our world better.
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Hi John, the point of my retell was not to get you to dish more on Jenny. I think there’s a way to write your Jenny poems where they will be about her and not you, but more the way you intended to sound… however, at first cuff your poems seem fetish and shallow and gratuitous and boasting and drunk. You lose your truth in drunkenness.
Anyhow, I hope no hard feelings upon you. Best of luck writing and I will not come at you harshly again. I can not vouch for any of the others going easy on you tho. Peace.
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Thank you Georgie.
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I forgot to say, I think Hemingway was a jerk personally but I liked what I’ve read of his. It’s clean action. And yes, Salinger is amazing to be sure. Cannery Row and Of Mice and Men were my faves.
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I agree Georgie. Both men saw hell and back. They struggled. Salinger once put dead bodies of friends in the battle of the Black Forest till he and his friend could be saved. Hemingway held silence about actions. He befriended Salinger in the Black Forest. Both men had demons. Hemingway was a jerk, he did it his way. Salinger disappeared for almost 50 years. I want to read his unpublished books. He try to commit suicide twice. Saved by a kind woman.
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Well, women saw hell too. Men never go thru war alone. They bring it with them everywhere they go. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Sorry you had to go thru it. Today in the USA women’s rights are being literally taken away as we speak. Reproductive freedom has been something I’ve always had in my lifetime. I can’t imagine that freedom just going away in the blink of an eye. The supreme court has been corrupted… Q-anon has infiltrated all branches of government and the separation between church and state seems to have vanished. The insurrection to destroy democracy on jan 6th now involves something like 149 GOP members who are trying to say Biden didn’t win. They are actually rooting for Putin. Then Zelensky was standing there this week getting his picture taken with the lot of them! How do we support Ukraine when this sham is being put forward? There is no such thing as bipartisanship right now… It’s just too corrupt. Trump was bad for the USA… but he’s just a tiny piece of the larger problems. I feel kind of devastated about it. I think that’s why I took your poems kinda hard. I felt like it was just men for men. Using women for men.
Thanks for allowing me to say my peace. I appreciate it John.
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Where I live in Detroit. Women have been strong. My step-mother was the first floor supervisor for G.M in the 1960. I work as a overnight manager of a Pharmacy. No weak women, I can see. The fight for equal rights is never ending. We have men and women wanting to change laws many strong women fought for. It is time for all people to vote the proper people into office. The Biden world had not propel women, equality in pay and no racism. Maybe we don’t need the Federal Government no-more. The Congress and Senate did little for the people.
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I believe in democracy. But this country is reckoning for sure. I don’t know if we the people will win… or if voting is enough… but that being said, I’ll keep trying! So hey John, thanks for the talk. I know Dae isn’t having you, so I’m going to part ways with you now… Sometimes stuff just gets personal. I do hope all the best for you. And definitely happy writing to you… I mean it.
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Thank you Georgie.
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I’m afraid I’m going to have to agree with James, John. You have no respect for women. It’s painful to read you work. Sorry buddy, but no dice. Hope you can quit the booze, for your own sake some day.
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Thank you Steven for reading and the comment. I have great respect for woman. Dear Jennifer saved me. I was lucky she allowed me in her life. We tried three times and she wanted more than a soldier wife life. I understood. I quit the booze many years ago. I dream write and for some reason. Jennifer came into my dreams. She was a kind woman who I needed to remember. Life is testing everything. I was a soldier and I know. Women and men will test life. Make mistakes. I made a few.
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I hear you John. You need to write. It’s who you are. I’ll talk to Dae and let her know you’re cool. I won’t ban you from my blog… she stomped you off pretty good, but I’ll make it right.
You been fair. Congrats on your sobriety btw. That’s deep. Keep on keepin on, as my own pop says.
Hope you have a good nite. Sorry for treading on u.
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It is alright Steven. Hemingway told a young writer once. If your skin is tender, don’t become a writer. Negative comment make me try to write better. You have a good morning and be safe.
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What a load of CRAP your male fantasies are.
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Maybe fantasies for you, James. Just a memory for me. I have learn. Love is rare in a long life. Dear Jennifer, I met at the wrong times. She was searching and testing life. She taught me. Love wasn’t fair. Took me 37 years and I found someone seeking safe place and love. I am thankful for dear Jennifer. She was kind to me and she allowed me into life three times. Thank you James for reading and the comment.
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