The midnight payment.
1- We kissed and we never told. We were midnight dancers, wanting everything and more. Did we find some kind of peace in the serene night? Or did we just feed the need of the flesh? You taught me, to want more and did I teach you anything?
2- You made me believe, love wasn’t needed. You taught me. Flesh demand payment and we danced for three months till I wasn’t enough. You didn’t break my heart. I wanted more.
3- The frost made us need the comfort of skin against skin. The snowy days made us hold on tighter. You stirred a sleeping man to want the warmth of woman. We never spoke love words. Just held on tightly till the day break and you escaped.
4- We can soar like eagles, we can run like the free wolves and we cannot show real face. I knew if I spoke words of love to you. You would run away. You taught me. Flesh demand payment.
Coyote
I like your use of the numbers in this poem, it lends itself well to the work, and sets tone here, calling the reader to focus and stay with you. It speaks the importance of the subject matter, and instantly got my undivided attention.
I like the use of the phrase “midnight dancer” coupled with the idea of kissing and never telling, it speaks in imagery to the anonymity of night, and gives an eerie, unearthly feel to the poem, like the narrator is a ghostly apparition of all that could be a specter of love, if I could say that.
I like how you question whether it was all carnal with the line
” Or did we just feed the need of the flesh?” It gives an eerie feel to the reader again, that draws illusions to dark horror but also exists in the very real selfish nature of man, this being heightened by the paring with a real song, making me think that it might be a very real moment you experienced with another human, but then also something that is able to be experienced by everyone, giving the word a universal application.
I really relate what is presented in 2 and will not get into the dirty details of why, I will leave that to your imagination, as I have a very dark past as a narrator and a real person.
You got me in 3. I felt you completely. I have been without home, and pulled my own personal experience in there, whether or not that is what you meant, I am not sure, but nice ability to let the reader draw their own personal experience into the body of your work, excellent work there. I love conversation piece art.
I love how you use eagles and wolves alongside each other, it speaks to your strong feelings to the person you speak to, saying I will go where you go if you want. Excellent, it indicates the strength of feeling.
I loved this. Thank you.
Damien
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Thank you Damien for reading and the wonderful comment. In the midnight hours. Is when the brave people live.
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