The Poet’s love. Chapter four to six.
(For Susana Chavez Castillo-Mexican Poet-Please don’t forget her)
The Poet’s Love- Life, God and men.
Lawrence rarely talked of his wife. He had left the old days behind and forgotten. His nurse Liliam told Paloma years back. Doctor Lawrence loved his wife. She was a Natural Honduras beauty. Long black hair down to her lower back and dark brown eyes. She was sweet and kind to everyone. His wife, Anna, was his pride and joy. He would cater to all her needs and wills. He would never complain. He told her daily. She was his sun and his moon. She gave him strength and hope. Liliam believed he knew she was fragile and a rare and gentle flower. She was never strong in health and the hard life of Honduras took her toll on her. When the cancer took hold of her. He tried to heal her with the normal medicine. He watched her die slow and painful. After her death. He swore to find the cure to cancer. He was one of few Doctors who used the herbalist to stop the cancer. He and Elena had saved many men and women. When the people came to him with cancer. He told them. We must first heal the mind, then the body. Need prayers, internal strength and the herbs of the tropical forest for them to survive. He knew the people who loved life, could survive. The people who had accepted death. They die. He was very wise man. He had called Paloma in Spain and he told her. Please come to Trujillo. Johnnie is very sick and if she was near. He could fight and live. Without her. He would die.
Paloma response quickly with a letter and a phone call. Johnnie and I. We are connected dear Lawrence. He fought and killed for me. I owe him everything. I will leave tonight and I will be in Trujillo on Wednesday. Leo lived in Trujillo now. He and Elena became very close. She had stayed with him for three months during his fight against the cancer. She never left his side and he told her often. She was a kind and gentle angel. He had create many paintings of her by the Trujillo bay. The painting were beautiful, showing Elena Honduras mountain woman look, long black hair and the darkest eyes he ever seen. He had loved her for many months and slowly she allowed him in. She was a painter’s dream. She love to dance, drink and sing. She would pose for him, at his will.
Leo told Lawrence. Trujillo is my last stop. The old man had accepted paradise of Trujillo as his home. Lawrence smiled and he told him. Me too, my old friend.
Everybody was present at the Trujillo night festival. The four sat together by the bay at the midnight hour. Loud song and dancing was in the near distance. Paloma was holding Leo and Johnnie hand. Lawrence reached over and he hugged the three tightly. He told them. I’m thankful for these days and nights. 30 years ago, Johnnie came into my life and Leo brought Paloma to us. We have seen the world change often and I believe the world would always be changing. It is sad the good deeds are forgotten or remembered. The demons and devils are re-born as soon as the old demons and devils are dead. We have survived war, sickness and hurricanes. Sometime I believe God to be a jokester. He make us believe we have everything and know everything. Then he teach us. We are just sparks of a endless fire.
Paloma looked very sad and she said in a quiet voice. Dear Lawrence, I have seen the devils and you are right. When one devil is gone, a new one appeared. It is so much sadness and heartache in our world. I tried to change my world and I believe I did nothing. On the borders of Mexico. They are still using, abusing and killing the young girls on the borders and nothing had changed. The people of this world. Blind to the abuse of women in 40 countries where women have no rights. I believe I was just pissing in the wind and no-one cared. Leo reached over and he kissed her forehead, face-cheeks and lips. He told her. Your life and hope isn’t forgotten. Your face and words pasted on every walls in every city in Mexico. Because of you. Many are fighting for the weak and the forgotten. You set the example. Is Martin Luther King Jr. forgotten? Is Susana Chavez Castillo forgotten? You made men like me react. I accepted the young girls dying in the whore houses and the drugs running wild. I remember you in Mexico city. You told be to grasp my balls, open my eyes and do some good dear painter. When I saved you. I saved myself. I learn a few can turn a world upside down. You taught me writers, painters and singers can show the world the darkness of light and the light of hope.
Johnie watched the faces of his friends. He had become a real writer now. Writing poetry and story for the internet and he was trying to find forgiveness. The cancer made him learn. Need books finished and poetry gathered into some books before it is too late. He had seen the darkness of life, the darkness of war and he had done more bad things than good. He asked his friends. Can someone be saved? Can someone be forgiven for their bad deeds and actions. She took his hands and she kissed each one. She told him. Johnnie, after you saved me in Mexico City. I knew you went mad. You hated your father’s bad temper and you never wanted to kill. Your father killed many in war and in real life. You had pride yourself on controlling your temper and keeping violence away. When I saw you in Trujillo. I asked you to come to Spain with me. You told me. I can’t dear Paloma. I need some salvation. I love you dear Paloma. You are my life and only kindness I had ever known. I was glad when you volunteered for Africa for President Clinton. I still have the letters. Your wrote to me. You were very tire. You cooked in the early morning for the people in need and you delivered food, water and medicine to nearby cities. You told me in the letter. I haven’t touched a gun in two years and I’m okay. Africa will brake your heart and I hope I’m doing some good. I won’t re-enlist. After this tour is over. I’m done with the Army.
Do you remember after Africa? We met in Trujillo. You wanted me to come to Michigan and I wanted you to come to Spain. I told you. Spain is my home and we could drink good wine for many years and die of old age and content in my village. I told you if you wanted and needed me. Please come to Spain. You went back to Michigan to take care of your grandparent. I went home to Spain and begin to write poetry again. You and I. We were two fools. We should had found equal ground and lived a full life. You and I. We were the raven and the coyote. Her eyes become filled with tears and she whispered. I prayed daily for you to find peace and salvation. He took her face and he kissed her often and he told her. I believe your prayers will be enough.
Lawrence laughed and he told them. God is like Tom Foolery. He will test us, show us darkness and show us happiness. In the ending. All men and women will find death. Better for us to dance, drink and sing till the end. I don’t blame God. God gave men free-will. Free-will for man-kind is like feeding raw meat to wild animals and believe they can be tamed. Men use and abuse power and forget. Every person had value. Every person need a fair chance.
Chapter two..
The Poet’s love-struggle and understanding.
Paloma watched Johnnie at the Trujillo festival. He looked so tire now. Once a strong and brave soldier who lived and he would of died for her. He protected and saved her life twice. She remembered he left the service and stayed with her in Trujillo for six months in 2011. This was five years ago. They found each other six times. Each time she needed him and he would come to her. Demanding nothing and loving her when she felt worthless and dead. Now she knew. She would never leave him again. Johnnie looked at her and he saw tears falling from her brown eyes. He went to her and he kissed her tears away and he whispered. I love you my beautiful lady of kindness and I will survive. I saw hell and back many times. Nasty cancer can’t kill me my love. Only the good die young. She asked him to leave the Trujillo festival.
They arrived at the American Motel. Johnnie stripped down to his boxer shorts and he tossed the blanket to the ground. Eighty plus degrees this night. Paloma goes to the bathroom. She washes her face and she cries alone. She remember she wouldn’t stay with Johnnie. The Mexican police stole a part of her and she rejected his offer five times. She had known love and she never gave anyone 100%. Johnnie always kept in contact. He found work he liked and he worked and he saved his money. She released her Summer dress of flowers and she inventoried her body. She liked her curved and her breasts still stood without need of bra. She laughed at herself and she went to him.
She walked nude and proud to the corner of the room and she brought four books to him. He smiled watched her perfect legs and tender body with great pleasure. She tossed them on the bed and she smiled. I begin writing again in Spain because of you. After you saved me in Mexico the second time, I told you. I would never write again or be published. I blamed myself for putting myself in peril and you and Leo. You told me often. You would never kill and for me. You did terrible things and you murdered 12 men. She fell upon the bed and he caressed her scars on her back. He kissed the scars and he told her. Life is hard and we must learn. Treasure the good days and forget the bad. She looked at him and she whispered. Those scars kept me from loving anyone. I left you five times and I know I broke your heart five times. Johnnie smiled and kissed her often and he picked-up the books. He looked at each one. Each book with 40 poems each and each dedicated to her friends. One book was for Leo, one book for Lawrence and two book for Johnnie. He touched the title of the book called. “The Poet’s love”. For Johnnie, my true love.
He open the book and he read four poems aloud from the book.
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Hills and valleys
Lovely man with the heart of gold.
He wouldn’t allow me to fall alone.
His faithful heart took the darkness of life away from me.
He smoothe my mind and heart with gentle song and kind words.
He sweet kisses and tender hands made me feel alive.
Even when I was cold and silent.
He loved me.
His love demanded little and he wanted only for me to sing and laugh again.
Paloma
———————-
Drink of me…
I was dying and wanting death.
Dear soldier with kind voice and gentle hands sang to me.
“My pretty senorita.
Life is long and the wine is plenty.
No night for dying my beautiful Paloma.
Your body will heal and your heart will learn peace one day.
Drink of me. Steal my laughter and hope.
Yesterday is gone and today you shall heal.
Stand tall and proud without fear.”
I told him. Something cannot be fixed or be healed.
He kissed my hands and fingers.
He whispered.
Dear Paloma. You ain’t dead yet.
Ain’t defeated yet.
Write a storm to be told and please tell the world.
Better to be fearless and to stand for the weak.
You did great things.
You had saved the helpless children.
Bleeding for the right must be done.
Better to live for something then die for nothing.
Paloma
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The Poet’s love..
Dear Poet.
You are my life giving blood.
You have saved me and I’m blessed to be able to look into your hazel eyes.
You taught me.
Love is life and life is love.
I was going to exiled life and give-up.
You wouldn’t allow me to die.
You made me understand, we must endure pain to know sweetness.
We must know lost to know victory.
I’m the Poet’s love and thankful.”
Paloma
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Forever..
Tattered heart and mind always knew.
Dear Johnnie.
You were my shelter and protection in the wild world.
I have loved you for 20 years.
You bled and killed for me.
You wouldn’t allow me to die.
You gave me all your love to me and you accepted little.
You whispered to me often.
You are my muse and you show me the fruit of love.
I have loved no-one but you since the days of Trujillo.
Today dear Johnnie.
You are faraway from me and when I found you again.
I won’t betray my heart again. We will live and die together.
I won’t allow you to leave my life.
You and I.
By the veil of the sea.
We will undress our fear and we shall become one.
I love you my Johnnie
Paloma
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Johnnie brought he closer and his tears fell. She touch the tears with gentle hands and she whispered. I will never leave you. Here in Trujillo, in Michigan or in Spain. I want us to grow old and be silly together. We have ran away too often. This is our time. You and I. Me and you. He brought her closer and he told her. After I and Leo saved you the second time in Mexico. I would of die if you gave-up and died. I stayed with you for six months. Remember you begged me to stay. I went back to Mexico and did bad things. If someone hurt you. I wanted revenge. I believe my heart is cold now dear Paloma. She kissed him a hundred times and she cried. She told him. I made you drown in blood and I’m loaded with hidden memories and pain. I went back to Mexico the second time for Susana Castillo. I had to do a final goodbye. You told me to wait and I was capture again. I’m so damn sorry for being foolish. Johnnie cupped her breasts and he put his face into her hair. He told her. I loved you for your bravery. You were fearless and hard headed. You followed your heart. She smiled and she whispered. Together we will find peace. I’m the Poet’s love and I know. No-one can hurt me no-more. Please stay with me forever. Johnnie brought her closer and he whispered. I will never leave you again my love.
Chapter three.
The Poet’s love- The cancer
The Poet’s love. The cancer..
Leo watched Paloma and Johnnie leave. Johnnie face had aged. The last time he saw him. He was robust and loud. They danced with pretty Teja’s girls and drank the Honduras rum till four a.m in the morning. This was four years back and he saw death in his friend face. He had lost many to cancer and sometimes. The cancer is caught too late and a painful and lousy death shall come. Lawrence touched his shoulder and he told him. Johnnie had Gastric cancer, stomach cancer. It is in the late stages. He went to the Cancer treatment centers of American. He tried the chemo and the new drug Keytruda. The treatment was too late. Johnnie called me last month and he told me. I’m bald, tire and I need my Honduras. Dear Lawrence, I’m coming to Trujillo to die my friend. Took him 30 days to get here. Stomach cancer is quiet. Most times the cancer showed-up too late and no treatment can work. I called Paloma and I called you. Johnnie will need us. He had one last wish. For us to go to Port Austin, Michigan. When he is gone. Burn some sage and spread his ashes to the lake Huron waves. I have my travel visa. You and Paloma have proper passports and we must leave as soon as possible.
Leo looked sad and he asked. Why didn’t you tell me this on the phone? Lawrence looked at the Trujillo bay and he told him. He wanted his death to be as painless as possible. She doesn’t know. I brought Elena here from the city. She will use her herbal medicine to make the pain less. Maybe she can slow down his death. Johnnie told me to tell you. Don’t show me the ugly faces. Let’s me die liked I lived. Foolish and fearless. Laughing, drinking and with my dear friends near. He will tell Paloma in the morning. He had been here in secret for five days. Elena gave him the graviola soup, five time daily and buckhorn tea with every meal. She forced down the cat claw into him twice daily. Elena is trying to extend his life. The gastric cancer had spread and his days can be few or many if the herbal medicine can slow down the spreading. Leo begin to cry and Lawrence wrapped his arms around him and he whispered. You cry tonight and tomorrow you smile and laugh for our old friend. Two old men watched the movement of the Trujillo bay. Needed silence this night.
Johnnie brought Paloma closer and he whispered a silence prayer. Thank you lord of life and death for you, my dear friends and Trujillo. She wasn’t sleeping. She knew Johnnie was dying and she knew. He didn’t want tears and sadness. She remembered him. Standing above the dead Mexican in Mexico city and he told her. Not your time to die my love. Go now and I will find you again. A long night for her. She knew the morning the truth would be set free. This night was to embrace her Johnnie. She loved being the Poet’s love. She knew already. Johnnie was fading away.
In the morning. Johnnie awoke early and Elena had the soup and tea on a small table. He went to the table and he drank the tea and he began to eat the soup. Leo came to him and he wrapped his arms around him. He whispered to him. What will I do without you? Leo’s tears begin to fall and he told him. My last tears for you my friend. We will go to Port Austin, drink the Michigan wine and whiskey. You will die like a Ojibwa warrior. Once you told me. When I’m dead. Put me in a small raft with some hay. Allow my body to burn and flow to the heavens. I will try to do this. Paloma appeared from the the motel room and Leo kissed his forehead and he walked toward her. He kissed her forehead, face cheek and lips than he walked away.
She sat with Johnnie. She gave him a odd smile and she whispered. Please tell me the truth. I’m not a baby and I saw how cancer can kill. You are hiding the truth and please tell me. What we are doing my love? Johnnie loved his Spanish love. She was still as beautiful as when he held her hand and he sang love songs to her thirty year ago. He told her. I was a normal man. Never saw a doctor and one day. I couldn’t walk and the pain came. I went to the Veteran Hospital and the old doctor told me I had advance gastric cancer. They told me my chances were not very good. I didn’t want to die yet and I requested some treatment. The treatment was useless. Just make me sicker. I was going to do the good Ojibwa death. Go to my land. Sit alone by Lake Superior and die in private. Be food for the coyotes and the wolf. I had a dream. Part of you died when you learned I die alone. You never show your real face again. The damn Nagual’s dreams told me. Find Trujillo and your friends. Don’t die alone and die with the last vision I will see. You, my beautiful Paloma.
She began to cry and she whispered. Thank you Johnnie. If you die without a proper goodbye. I would had died too. I’m the Poet’s love and I will not leave you. You have loved me for thirty years and you have seen me at my weakest. You made me stand-up and be strong. You have been my only love in my life. I will stay with you dear Johnnie. What shall we do now? He smiled at her. I have one request you will dislike. I want you, Leo and Lawrence to come to Port Austin with me. Trujillo is my first home and Port Austin is my second. I love Lake Huron. I want us to celebrate my last days by the great lake. She whispered dear Johnnie. I will go to hell and back with you. He brought her closer and he embraced her. He kissed her a dozen time and he whispered. I love you dear Paloma. She whispered. I love you my Johnnie.
He told her. Elena had slow-down the cancer. She brought me things from the four corners of this world. The American white lily and the greater celandine had make me feel okay. I feel good enough to travel now. Elena is coming too. She had become the fifth legs of us now. She saved Leo and hard headed Leo made her stay with him. She will find the herbs needed and she will take care of me and us. Elena came near and she kissed Johnnie forehead and she went to Paloma and she kissed her lips. She whispered. The cancer is stalled. Johnnie came too late. The bacteria had expanded and all I can do is try to slow down the cancer. Leo showed-up and he told them. Tonight the last party on the Trujillo beach for the four warrior plus one new one. Me and Elena are one now. She couldn’t fight me off no-more. She made me understand the lost of my wife and child years ago. She taught me. I could love again.
The night was coming. May is Trujillo. So damns hot and so damn beautiful. Lawrence had organized a large party. The whole city would turn-out. Free food, music and free drink. Paloma dressed slowly in front of the mirror. Johnnie saw the marks on her back given to her by the Mexican police. He went to her and he whispered. We must one thing before we go to Port Austin. I want you and I to go to Mexico City. Burn some sage and pray for Susana Castillo Chavez. First we must be marry. You and I shall be a marry couple in Mexico city. Two strangers just seeking the martyr kind poet. Leo is a famous painter now. Lawrence, Leo and Elena will come with. A stranger came in and he smiled. I’m the Catholic priest of the only church here in Trujillo. My name is Juan and I will marry you tonight and I will create the proper documents. I wanted to meet the famous Paloma and Johnnie. You gave your money for my food and medicine charity for many years. I do appreciate your kindness. Tonight I will return the kindness.
She walked with Johnnie on the quiet beach. People were near setting up for the party. You could smell the food and the workers had the Spanish music playing loud. She asked him. You want to marry me and I didn’t receive the proper invitation. You think I’m a class-less lady who don’t need a proper question? He went to one knee and he embraced her waist tightly. He kissed her bare stomach and he looked at her beautiful face. He asked her. My dear Paloma. Would you marry a old fool. You are my Poet’s love. I want to live and die in the kind smile of your face. She begin to cry and she caressed his face. I will love to marry you my Johnnie.
Coyote