Love tragedy…
I remember the hello. So sweet and kind. You were a wild girl in a woman body. You made me learn to dance, learn to climb the fault lines of California and suicide board the sea. And you taught me. Beautiful face and sexy body don’t mean perfect heart.
I remember painting words into my journal as you washed away the heat of the California sun in the hidden waterfalls in the California fault line. I have loved you for a thousand days before you found me at a poetry reading. I was singing songs of love and kisses and I remember I saw your eyes. I tempted a hidden demon and need.
After the poetry reading. We went to the Monterey Bay. We talked and talked till we couldn’t talk no-more. I told her this night. You are too beautiful for me and you will break my heart, even I wish for one sweet kiss.
Her gentle brown eyes looked to the sea and she thought for a second. She turned to me and she whispered to wanting ear. The only way to lose the need of temptation is to yield to the need. Find common ground. Stripped down to bare skin and swim in wild and uncontrolled feel of demanding hands, allow warm kisses to burn hotter till two people become wild-fire and foolish. Allow the body to be content without regret. We can only sin once and we cannot sin no-more dear Johnnie. You and I are here. By the sea and tonight. You and I. Can be lovers or be friends? Both abandon each other in the end.
I brought her close this night and I told her. I will accept the dangerous offer and I know. You are free wind and the wild sea. I have dreamed of you for a thousand day. I loved your face, I loved you young legs and I loved your short tempting dresses. I wrote a thousand words for you and you were my muse and siren in the same lines. I’m an owned soldier and you are a nurse. One day we will part and you will become my myth and tale.
She laughed at my words and we walked slowly to her Monterey city apartment. We held a deadly silence till the door was locked. She put on some songs of Leonard Cohen. His song Suzanne is playing lowly.
Dear Gail imprinted my heart and mind. Slowly released her dress and removed her bra and panties of silk. She moved in a circle dance allowing my eyes to see perfect beauty and tempting body. She went to her knees and she whispered. Take me, break me, make me feel alive and make me believe. You and I. Can be one in the night.
I remember pieces of this night only. We were lovers and she was very kind. I remember her asking me . Make me know’ I can bleed real emotions and I want to know your wishes. Tied me-up in a places where lovers play hide and seek. In the mist of the night, what is done, is forgotten in the morning light my Poet.
We played lovers for six months. The sad part I had to leave her. I was re-deployed to Texas and she was planted in the beauty of the sea and California. I remember our last days and night. Her eyes held sadness and we never said proper goodbye.
I believe. Gail and I had known too many goodbyes. Today the old man dreamed of the sea and remember a perfect beauty. He remembered a Masterpiece.
John Castellenas/Coyote