C’est la Mort
C’est la Mort
Tonight two shadows are dancing in Belton, Texas at a dance hall. Old soldiers dancing with a pretty Texas girl and she had tears falling for him. She whispered to him. I can’t forgive you. God may forgive you and I believe. You will forgive yourself one day. Once we were silhouettes holding tightly and I remember when you asked me. Please talk with me, please dance with me and please walk with me. I’m so damn lonely and you are what I need.
We loved the song and I remember you calling my name. Telling me. You are the pretty one and I’m the lucky one. I remember I knew I was was wrong when, I told you at my apartment. Come and get it my northern boy. Please say my name and make me feel. Needed and loved.
I asked you often when I saw the distance look in your face. You promise me. You would leave the service and be my only love. Are you my lover? Are you my teacher, are you my perfect ending or my hellish ending?
He looked the natural Texas beauty. Auburn hair, long legs and the voice of a angel. Her hazel eyes filled with falling tears and he told her. Dear Shelly, Cest la mort, lover myth and wish. War is near and new soldiers need my wisdom and knowledge. When I was a young man. Love was everything and till I met you. I accepted alone. I enlisted for three more years and I’m still at Fort Hood. I know only how to be a soldiers and I need you Shelly.
She kissed his face and his lips. She asked, when are you being deployed? He looked very sad and he told her. In two day for the Iraq border. President Clinton sending us to be guard-dogs again.
He watched her make some coffee at her small apartment. She was quiet the complete night. He went to her and he held her tightly. I told her. Please Shelly, please forgive me. I won’t forget you and I will miss your beautiful face, the tenderness of your lovely hands. Those rosy red lips. Sweeter then the Fall wines will keep me alert and alive. I will return soon and I promise no more Army my love.
She brought him closer and she whispered. Some men want to live forever, some men want to save the world. Some men love women, some men love war and chaos. Please write me and I pray you remember me. I will try to wait for you. My heart is already broken and when you leave today. I will beg you to stay and you will leave. Please don’t die Johnnie.
Old soldier stand with 15,000 soldiers. 15,000 men leaving so many behind.
John Castellenas/Coyote
Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Thank you my friend.
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Wow, I am so sorry to hear that, one each year….what a terrible place to be in. I’ve suffered with depression most of my life, tried to kill myself at 14, I could not handle my life at that time, very lonely, very dark. Anyway, enough of me. I am saying this because I can understand why they would take such a course of action, mental pain of that nature, which is unseen, to me, seems worse than any physical pain, because you know where the pain is coming from. All one desires is release from such a dark unnamed place. I’ve been there many times, and just wanted to escape that type of mental anguish and nothingness. But by the Grace of God, He has brought me through it.
So do you have those writings on this blog? Would like to read them. If you do not mind.
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I believe I have some on line. I will repost today. I became kinder after their death. Take a old wise saying for us to change. “A kick in the head, make us see right.”
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Oh, thank you, I look forward to reading them. Yes, sometimes we need a good “wake up” call to snap out of some kind of mindset. I can relate.
Thanks I appreciate you……..
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You are welcome my friend.
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What are their titles, and would it be on your blog? I will look them up is they are, just to save you some time.
Thank you……
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I posted three of them on the site now. I hope you are doing well. Have some fun and be safe.
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This sounds as if this was a historical moment in a person’s life…….
It seems to resonate…….a constant and endless, unfulfilled need……
It leaves me quite melancholy ……but hey…..it’s that time of year…..Fall….. does it too me every time!
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A old poem. The good days, we won’t forget. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.
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My pleasure….I’ve been away for a while………now i’m ready to read and share.
The death of my mother was one of those unfulfilled needs…..she never loved us, even on her death bed last month……….that was a painful time……..in a bad way……
Thank you for your creative honesty……..
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It is hard to open old wounds. Two of my brothers committed suicide. One in 1987 and one in 1988. Took years for me to write about. I write about them, hoping to show people. We must lead with concern and kindness. I look forward to reading your work.
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Beautiful!
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Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment.
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