Too late for forgiveness…
(Two of my brothers who committed suicide. One in 1988, one in 1989.)
Too late for forgiveness
A Poem by Coyote Poetry
A sad one. If you feel death is more important then life. Please call me. Maybe I can help. 
Too late for forgiveness….
Second brother put into the cold earth.
Death by their own hands.
Left many to swim in bad decisions and not enough kind words.
The things I believed in.
Became useless and not fruitful anymore.
Words said without thoughts or kindness.
Left my soul in blackness.
I wished too late to take back words that degrade a life of a brother.
I learn the important things we must believe are simple and plain.
I learn we must rise and fall, cry and laugh, beg and demand.
I chisel my brother names into a old Oak tree.
I asked the Spirit of life and death to forgive me for being a bastard instead of a friend.
Silence and loneliness left me be to the solitude of pen and paper.
I learn we are all mortals.
Too blind to see beyond our own glory,
till names of the dead are carved into your chest.
Today I remember two strong boys who showed no fear.
The hidden demons no-one saw.
Took them to a rope and no goodbye.
Their death made me more gentle in action and in words.
The dream of wealth became less needed.
Now I offer a open door to friends and family.
I will listen to someone who is struggling and try to help.
I don’t believe you can be forgiven.
Lonely graves of two scared boys are permanent scars on a mind and heart.
No-one cared that they saw death more sweet then life.
I wished I’d listen to a wise grandfather.
“Nothing good to say. Say nothing. Negative words and actions can
caused permanent damage.”
Better to be a friend then be standing by a casket saying a final goodbye.
Coyote
I only have words, John, but I fear they are not enough to take away your pain. It is so sad to lose two brothers by their own hands. I lost my son to a heroin overdose when he was 22 so I know about the pain of loss. Lessons must always be learned. I too, have learned to be kinder to others. I send you love and healing energy. Be at peace with life my friend for you have suffered much to get to where you are today. I like that you have returned to your Native American roots. They understood life far better than we do for they lived in peace with nature and loved and respected the planet. ❤🙏❌
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I am sorry for your lost. Losing a child dear Carolyn. Would be so hard to understand. Drugs take so much from us.
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They do indeed. 🙂
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I’m so sorry for your loss, John. My mom’s friend died of a suicide and I knew him well enough. I felt devastated but couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like for the family. I can’t possibly imagine what it must’ve been like for you and your family. Thank you for pouring your heart out with this.
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Thank you dear Maria. Mess-up the family yesterday and today.
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😞
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This is a powerful and tragic piece. So sorry for this loss that you and your family experienced not once but twice.
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Thank you, dear Brooke. All of us must learn the hard way. I learn to be kinder.
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In some cultures, suicided is an honor death, a sign for great strengths and wisdom. In our cultures, due to a book which was written by humans a century after a man (or son of god) named Jesus walked on this earth, we believe it’s a sin. Scare tactics by the wealthiest organization on this planet -the catholic church. Forgiveness is up to you -not them. Write them a letter, a heartfelt one, one you won’t share, read it to them on a rainy day, or outside at your favorite spot. Give forgiveness!
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No honor in suicide. People with cancer in great pain. I understand assisted suicide. Life is lessons and more lessons. Because of my brothers. I marry, adopted five children and I had one child. I became kinder and wiser. I never say negative words and my door is open for the family and my friend. Forgiveness we must know dear friend. But the karma of life is far. We must taste dirt to appreciate what we have. Thank you for reading and the comment. After my second brother suicide. I quit my job, gave everything I had away and I traveled and wrote for 10 years. I did my the place I suppose to be.
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Hundreds of people were willing to sacrifice themself to stop Hitler. Sadly, he never stepped in the traps. To save others while giving your own life, that’s what I call an honor death -like it or not.
There is more than just black and white, there is a gray area in between that we should never forget. You seem to be very focused on your view only.
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The problem my friend. Wasn’t enough people. Many countries looked away. We see what we want to see. Every day almost children died from over-dose of drugs. No-one is trying to stop the drug dealers. I love history and I was station four years in Germany. Kindest and best people, I ever know. They destroyed cities in the USA because of one death. 6,000 Native American killed and few discuss. My grandmother was took from her home, the government schools cut her hair, changed her name and she wasn’t allow to speak her language. Was happening still in Canada till lately. The silence voices will to blame more than the people who did the deeds. Hitler wasn’t the first and he will not be the last. Rome erased cultures and country. In the end. They were erased. There is no black and white in murder. Read the Painted bird by Kosinski. Hard to tell the good guys from the bad. USA killed in Vietnam, wipe-out so many Native American tribes in the USA. We can’t stop the need for land. Today world. Ain’t no different than 2000 year ago. I have two grandchildren who turned thirteen. The war talks are alive. My children did not serve. I do not want my grandchildren to fight for old men war, oil and old hate. Time for us to not accept hate and violence. I believe if we don’t within 10 years. It is too late for us, nature.
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Humans are monsters, you sound surprised!
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Not all humans are. Many great women and men saved many. Today, many brave people. I volunteered in my Army days to go Africa three times for food and water missions, Bosnian and the mountains of Honduras with medical teams. Many miracles still happening . My dear friend. We must set the example for the children. We can’t give-up.
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Humans as a species destroy everything. The worst are the ones who think of themselves as being ‘good’ because they think they stand out. I am a blogger who has followed you for a while, I am not a dear friend and it is very unrealistic to call me that.
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I believe we enjoy reading and writing. I have known you for awhile. I consider you a friend. We share words and thoughts. Everyone see the world with different eyes. We have seen different things, good and bad. Who is right, who is wrong? In war. The winner is right, always. I do my best to be kind. I can always learn something new. If you save life without seeking profit. You are a good person. I have seen the worst of men and the best. I believe we must do our best. This is all we can do. I befriended many writers and poets over the years. We don’t drink coffee or play chess. But we communicate. Have some fun and be safe.
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I believe you can be forgiven.
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Not forgiven. Just a hard lesson. Family and friends could be dancing on the edge of suicide. We need to listen to them, pay attention and be a friend. Not a lecture. Thank you dear Ana for reading and the kind words.
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I didn’t feel a lecture, don’t worry 😊
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I am sorry dear Ana. My pen is alive and well today. I hope you doing well and having some fun. Here in Michigan. Winter came late and we have snow and ice everywhere.
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Cuddle up with the kids for a good movie 👻
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