Highway 40. Chapter 9-10.

Highway 40 west stories part nine.   The real truth.

I got up early and I found directions to the Family History library and the Mormon Tabernacle. I ordered some coffee in the hotel restaurant. I was joined by a older lady and her son. She gave me her hand and told me. Thank you for your service. I’m proud of our soldiers.” I told her thank you and I tried to escape. She asked. “Please stay and talk to us. My son want to join the service. I need a real Soldier opinion. His daddy is dead and I know of few men who have served. I sat down and I knew this wouldn’t be a positive conversation. I asked the boy’s name. He reached out and he told me. My name is Todd. I’m in eleventh grade and want to be a soldier like you.

I told Todd. It is good to meet you and what do you want to know?  Todd smiled and asked me. Does it feel good to be a Soldier? Did you see combat? Did you like the Middle East? I saw in the mother eyes. A sadness. I knew without asking. This was her only son and he needed her signature. I sipped my coffee and I tried not to reflex back to the war. Some memories are better left dead and bury.  I told him. Wars had no season. Wars will end and more wars will come. I like being a Soldier because my father was a soldier. Today soldiers are used for the wrong reasons. We fight for wars that don’t concern us.  I looked directly into Todd’s eyes and asked him. Is it right to kill for oil and profit of the rich men? If the USA isn’t being attacked? Should we kill other armies and destroy cities? Do you want to know their blood on your hands for the wrong reasons?

Todd sat in silence. I told him. I saw war. At least the aftermath. Took my unit six months to clean-up death valley. The United States Air Force destroyed the Iraqi army in 20 minute or less. They left the bodies of their soldiers and equipment and ran back to their country. My unit found alive men waiting for death. I learn men who are dying. They want to pray and they tried to remember their family. There is no honor in war. Us men learn to hide the memories if we are lucky. I saw war like my father and I learn his sadness. Dead friends lay heavy on my mind and thoughts. My mothers reached over and she hugged me. She saw hidden tears for good friends who never came home to see their family.  She asked me. Should we leave you? I’m sorry to make you remember things you are trying to forget.

Todd asked. Is the life of a Soldier a bad life? I want to travel and see the world. My only option is the service or saving up money.  I asked Todd. Are you going to college?  He told me. I have a full scholastic and I do well in school. I don’t want to kill anyone. I want to help.  I looked into his eyes and I told him. Military purpose is to fight and kill. If you want no blood on your hands. Save your money. Travel, have fun and test life without ransoming  your mind and soul. I won’t allow my children to go to war. I know I can’t stop them. Eighteen mean you can join at will..  Please think first. I know no-one who learn to live better by knowing war. War teaches us. Love and family is the real goal of a life. A lot of walls with names on them and United States flags waving at lonely graveyards for men who didn’t return home to their families. I pray their deaths had reasons and purpose..

Lana appeared with a strange smile. Listening to the conversation from a distance. She walked up and she gave me a hug. She asked. Is it time for the world largest library?  The mother and son stood-up and the mother gave me a hug and she whispered. Thank you for the truth. Most men forget the bad parts and leave the good stories for their kids. Thank you again.  Todd took my hand and he told me. I appreciate the honest words. I don’t want to kill anyone. I will go to college and maybe one day. Study the option of the military. Thank you sir.

Lana saw the sadness in my eyes. She said. I’ glad you told the truth. War is no good. The government use up and kill the young before they can live. You are a good man Johnnie.  I kissed Lana and told her. Like Jack London said a long time ago. Men are just meat. Waiting to be cooked or eaten.

 Highway 40 west stories. Part ten.  “New hope and dreams.”

It was a pleasure Winter day in Salt Lake city. 40 degrees and the roads were cleared of snow. Lana requested coffee and pie for breakfast. I agreed and told her. It will be coffee and pie this morning. I could use some good homemade pie today. I need some tasty food this morning. We found a sit-down bakery and we ordered some coffee and  fresh made apple pie with vanilla ice cream on top.

Lana had a odd look in her eyes this morning. I knew when a woman had questions that she wanted answered. She asked me. Do you think I’m beautiful or sexy? Am I not sexy enough for you?  I see your want and need me in your eyes when you look at me and you act like a saint.

I give her my best Michigan smile and I told her. Old dear Grandma had a good saying. Haste make mistakes. I have know you for a short time. You are not some girl from the bar looking for a good times and escaping before the sun is rising. I promised your sister for you to be safe and sound. Not used and abused in every motel on highway 40 going to Reno.  She gave me a sweet wicked smile and said. Used and abused. Sometime good to be wild and free Johnnie. You never know when the last day is, hour is or second. What will we have? We saw the largest bookstore and a church. Is that the ending we want, she asked?

I reached over and kissed her and I asked her. Do you have any great dreams. Like traveling the world, living in the tropics by the sea where the people still know some sort of freedom. Do you want to save the the world or maybe yourself?   She looked outside at the moving cars and people trying to go to work and she answered. When I was young. I wanted to go to Europe. Visit my father’s hometown in Scotland. I wanted to see the castles in Germany and roam the Europe and the USA coastlines. I didn’t have the money back then.

I asked her. Now you can. How much money did your father leave you?  Lana looked coldly at me and told me. Death money is lousy money. My father left me and sis, $500k each. I haven’t touched the money yet.
Tears began to fill her eyes. I told her. You father was a wise man. He ensured you could finish school and support yourself. Death isn’t fair.  What if I planned a trip for you? I have friends in Scotland, England, Germany and Switzerland. You could travel for awhile and come back later and finish your college.

More tears begin to flow from Lana beautiful eyes and she questioned. You promised me time in Monterey. You promised long walks and talks on the beaches. You told me we would drink a lot of coffee, we would suicide board the Winter storms. Are you changing your mind? I  brought my chair closer and kissed away her tears away and I told her. I’m not changing my mind. I want to spend time with you in Monterey. We will dance on the beach and suicide board the wild Winter storms. We will drink whiskey and hold each other tightly waiting for the morning sun. We will sit where Hemingway drank and wrote. But I want you to live. I want to be part of your life. Not the dead-end. You are young and need to travel, experience life. We will  box in the coastlines together if you like in my time free from the Army. And if you still want the old man. I will be there for you, Honey.

Lana quit crying and smiled. She told me. “You are right Johnnie. I want my one month in Monterey with you and I will visit Scotland. My Daddy still had family left there for me to visit. You are right. I need to come alive. My father wouldn’t want me to play dead and die.  I want my promised month with you and you must promise not to forget me. I told her. I cannot forget you my Lana. You have saved me also. I needed nothing before I met you. Now I need to look into your eyes. You have become my hope and beautiful dream.

Lana stood up and she sat in my lap and she whispered. I want you my Johnnie. You made me laugh when I wanted to cry. You made me dance and drink when I wanted to fall down and not get up. I can see the love in your eyes for me. I feel so good in eyes.  Please stay with me Johnnie. Maybe we can find true love?
I said okay.

                                Coyote/John Castellenas