Too late for forgiveness..


( My two brothers Scott and Chuck. Scott committed suicide in 1987 and Chuck in 1988. I didn’t know they feared life.)

 (If you feel death is more important then life. Please call me. Maybe I can help. )

 Too late for forgiveness…

Second brother put into the cold earth.
Death by their own hands.
Left many to swim in bad decisions and not enough kind words.

The things I believed in.
Became useless and not fruitful anymore.
Words said without thoughts or kindness.
Left my soul in blackness.
I wished too late to take back words that degrade a life of a brother.

I learn the important things we must believe are  simple and plain.
I learn we must rise and fall. Cry and laugh. Beg and demand.

I chisel my brother names into a old Oak tree.
I asked the Spirit of life and death to forgive me for being a bastard instead of a friend.
Silence and loneliness left me be to the solitude of pen and paper.

I learn we are all mortals.
Too blind to see beyond our own glory.
Till names of the dead are carved in your chest.

Today I remember two strong boys who showed no fear.
The hidden demons no-one saw.
Took them to a rope and no goodbye.

Their death made me more gentle in action and in words.
The dream of wealth became less needed.

Now I offer a open door to friends and family.
I will listen to someone who is struggling and try to help.
I don’t believe you can be forgiven.

Lonely graves of two scared boys are permanent scars on a mind and heart.
No-one cared that they saw death more sweet then life.

I wished I’d listen to a wise grandfather.
“Nothing good to say. Say nothing. Negative words and actions can
caused permanent damage.”

Better to be a friend then be standing by a casket saying a final goodbye.

                               Coyote’

Category : poetry
Tags : , , , , , , , , , , , , ,